Kiss, Marry, Kill
by orenashii
Summary: What happens when two lonely assassins meet during after hours? They fall in love. What happens when the two are assigned to kill each other? Shenanigans. AU inspired by the movie 'Mr. and Mrs. Smith'. Rated M for sexual content. Pure trash.
1. Kiss

_Author's Note_

This. I don't know what this is. I was struck with the idea on Saturday and literally spent all weekend writing this up. I feel dirty. But proud.

I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Kiss, Marry, Kill

* * *

Chapter One:

Kiss

* * *

She could blend into a room full of shadows. But she could do nothing else but stand out here.

She sat at the corner of the bar, as close to the wall as she could be. It struck an intriguing balance, hiding herself away, yet exposing her shapely thigh as the slit in her dress ran from the bottom of the hem to a spot dangerously close to her hip. She let her feet dangle above the ground, her heels clacking against the metal of the barstool.

She leaned forward to rest her chin on her hands, fingers laced, covered in silky black gloves that extended upwards past her elbows. She wore a faraway expression, not really moving save for the occasional sweep of her hand through her hair which was swept to the side and held up by some unknown force.

Men had approached her, not many, as the bar was beginning to quiet as the occupants of the hotel turned in for the night, but she rejected them. Usually, by not responding at all, pretending that their offers could not penetrate the thick fog of her thoughts.

One man thought himself bold and leaned over her to whisper in her ear. He pulled back and ran a hand up the skin of her thigh. She turned to him then with a wicked smile. She tilted her head up and spoke, no one else but the receiver could hear, of course, but whatever she had said had proven most effective. The man stepped back from her immediately, turned, with a look of shock in his eyes and ran out of the bar, refusing to make eye contact with anyone else.

There was another man across the room, who happened to see the exchange in mild intrigue. He was modestly dressed in a crisp white button down and black slacks. He sipped his drink slowly, the ice clacked against his teeth, signifying the glass was near empty. He swallowed hard, suddenly nervous. The only empty space at the bar was next to her. He approached with caution.

She was, true to form, staring at nothing in particular, her chin resting gently on an open palm. He set his drink down as quietly as he could, so as not to disturb her.

The bartender pointed at him, awaiting his order. He spoke in a low voice. "Sparkling water, please."

He did not notice it but her eyes suddenly focused and she turned her head towards him. The bartender returned quickly, a fresh tumbler set down before him full of the clear, bubbling liquid.

She picked up her near empty glass of wine, the color as deep a red as her lips, and took a long sip, subtly taking in the sight of the man next to her. He had a handsome face, a strong chin and a straight nose; thick eyebrows, dark eyes, and darker hair pulled back into a low ponytail.

She lowered her glass and ran a fingertip down the stem of her glass. Maybe this one was worth a conversation. What the hell? She was bored.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like anything else with that?"

The man looked down at her as if surprised that anyone was speaking to him at all.

"I beg your pardon?"

She smirked at the formality of his tone. "I don't mean to bother you. I was just wondering what kind of man goes to a bar half past midnight just to drink water."

He looked away for a moment before settling his eyes on hers. "I apologize. I have just arrived here and wanted something to drink before I retire for the night."

She grunted lightly in amusement. "You apologize." She turned towards him fully, exposing the remainder of her dress. The two simple straps at her shoulders plunged down her neckline, subtly exposing the curves of her breasts. His gaze did not move downwards, as most men's did. Her intrigued piqued further. "I didn't mean to judge. I was just curious."

"Um," he said, looking away again. He was shy? She found it hilarious. "I did not want to disturb you. You seem to appreciate your solitude."

"I seem to, huh? What, have you been observing me?"

The man flushed. She snickered. She wondered if he had seen her previous encounters with men who had approached her. She grinned at the memory of what she had said to the last one.

 _I singed the very prints of my fingers off using a gas lighter. Which means, no one will be able to catch me after I finish doing whatever it is I please with you if you dare touch me again._

She delighted herself on his look of terror as he scattered away.

"I only appreciate solitude when there isn't any interesting company available." She moved her leg, kicking the chair out next to her. "Would you like to sit?"

He stared at the seat for a few moments before finally accepting the offer and taking the seat.

"So, what brings you to Okinawa? Business or pleasure?"

"Business," he said. "And you?"

She licked her lips slowly before grinning. "Pleasure." The man flushed but held her gaze. He was _adorable._ "I'm just teasing you. I work for an architecture firm. Executives from this hotel chain flew me down here to wine, dine, and dazzle me; seduce me into partnering with them for the construction of a new resort."

"Did it work?"

She smiled wickedly. "Are you asking me if I'm seduced?"

She could see his grip tighten on his drink. She laughed and placed a hand over his. "I'm so sorry, I couldn't help myself. You're cute when you're flustered."

He laughed awkwardly for a brief second before clearing his throat.

"You said you're here for business? What kind of business? What is it you do?"

"I, uh," he stuttered, distracted by the sound of her laugh. He found himself inexplicably drawn to it, like a sailor to a siren. It was beautiful. "I am a professor of history at a university on the mainland. I am here to attend a lecture by one of my former associates. And to add to my collection."

She quirked an eyebrow, asking without words.

"Of katanas. I... collect swords. I suppose you could say that I, too, am here for pleasure."

There was a joke in there somewhere. About swords and pleasure. She decided to let it slide. _Ha._

"Swords, huh? That's fascinating. More of a knife girl, myself."

"Really? It's funny," he laughed, "that I should meet someone also fond of the blade."

"Mm." She smiled. She picked up her glass and finished the remainder of her wine.

"Would you like another?" he offered. "That is, if you do not think it too late. I apologize. I do not mean to keep you from your rest."

She placed her hand over his once more. She granted him a genuine smile.

"I would love to."

* * *

As it turned out, the pair had quite a lot in common. They both enjoyed traveling, learning new languages, immersing themselves in different cultures. Occasionally, their conversation would slip into different languages to test their vocabulary. Both were impressed by the other's fluency.

They both loved camping, being outdoors in the quiet beauty of nature. She had an extensive knowledge of flowers and botany. He had practiced meditation at many waterfalls.

He told her of his parents who ran a very successful restaurant in the city.

"You're joking! I've been there before!" she exclaimed. "Their oden is spectacular."

He laughed along with her. "It is a recipe that my family has held for generations."

"Wow," she breathed. "It's almost like I was destined to meet you."

Quiet settled between them. They looked into each other's eyes with fondness.

"Excuse me, miss?" the bartender interrupted gently. "Sir." He acknowledged her companion as well. "We've issued the last call for the bar. Would you like anything else before we close?"

"No, I am finished. Thank you," she said with a sweet smile. She watched the man lean over the bar to ask for his tab. She waved him off. "Please just charge this to my room."

"No, no," he said quickly. "I must insist."

"I'm afraid _I_ must insist."

"But... I offered."

"And I accepted," she replied easily. "But I am not rude. I will not have you pay this amount for one glass of wine when you've only had water."

He sighed, giving in. "Is there a way I might repay you?"

She scribbled something on the back of a cocktail napkin and slipped it to him. He looked at the writing in confusion. She smiled and leaned forward to whisper in his ear. "That is my room number. In case you are still... thirsty. For something before you retire."

She stood from her seat and winked at him before turning to walk away.

"Wait!" he reached out and grabbed her hand. "My name is Jack."

He shuddered slightly as she leaned toward him, running her hand from his shoulder to the back of his neck. She placed a feathery kiss on his cheek as she breathed her name into his ear.

"Ashi."

* * *

Jack sat at the bar dumbfounded after her departure. This was insane, wasn't it? He'd just met her. This could not be happening so quickly.

He opened his wallet and placed a few bills on the bar and nodded to the bartender. He quickly ran out of the bar and caught a glimpse of her as she stepped onto the elevator. He looked down at the napkin. She was on the twelfth floor. It would be a long ride. Right? Perhaps he could sort his feelings out in the meantime?

No such luck.

Before he knew it he was standing in front of her door. He rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. This was uncharted territory. He lifted his hand to knock then immediately brought it back down. This was crazy. He should run. He should return to his room. He should definitely _not_ knock on this young woman's door and see her again. See her beautiful face. Hear her melodious laughter. Hear his name on her lips as he...

Something else made up his mind before he could process the thought. He knocked.

She opened the door with a small smile. She was still dressed, dress, gloves, and all. She had not even removed her shoes. She opened the door wider and stepped aside without a word. He entered.

Her suite was stunning. A spacious kitchenette with black marble countertops and elegant light fixtures. It even had an island. He scanned the living area; black, armless couches arranged by a large, flat screen television that was fixed to the wall. Beyond that was a glass room divider inlaid with a gold design made to look like tree branches.

He spotted her bed. It was enormous, piled high with a thick, white comforter and pillows that looked soft as clouds. It was indeed luxurious, quite a step up from his humble room on the fourth floor.

"It's lovely, isn't it? It's not very often that I get to stay in lodgings this... grand."

He nodded, admiring the sight of the night sky from the glass door to her balcony.

She opened a cabinet in the kitchen and retrieved two champagne flutes. She set them on the kitchen island and hopped up to sit on the edge. She pulled the bottle from its chiller and read the card attached to the neck.

"Blah blah blah. _Please except this bottle as a personal gift._ _We hope you enjoy your stay with us._ _May we bring luxury to all."_

She snorted. "Bring luxury to all. _I_ couldn't afford this room on my own salary." She was exaggerating, of course. But she did not want to appear boastful.

She tossed the card aside and began peeling back the foil from the neck of the bottle. Jack stepped closer to her, offering his help. She waved him away.

She held the bottle between her legs, the cold condensation from the bottle wetting her inner thighs. She angled the bottle slightly away from her companion and popped the cork, not particularly caring where it landed. She was then in understandable shock when his hand shot out to catch the cork as it ricocheted from the ceiling.

 _Quick reflexes._

He gave her a sheepish smile as he set the cork down on the island. He reached over her for a glass and held it before her at an angle so she could pour. She filled the glass with the sparkling wine and gently clinked the neck of the bottle to the rim of his glass. "Cheers," she said. He shook his head and offered the glass to her.

"I insist."

She rolled her eyes but smiled nonetheless and accepted the glass. He reached over her once more and grabbed the other glass, taking the bottle from her and pouring some for himself.

She could catch his scent as he reached over her. He smelled clean. It was thrilling. She watched him over the rim of her glass as he took his first sip. He sniffed slightly as the bubbles tickled his nose. She smiled. She licked her lips slowly as they made eye contact.

She tilted the glass to her lips but her aim was slightly off, accidentally spilling some of the bubbling drink down the corner of her lip to drip off of her chin. She giggled, slightly embarrassed, and brought her gloved hand up to wipe at her chin.

"Ashi," he whispered. She shivered. She really, _really_ liked the sound of her name in his voice. Before she could respond he gently grabbed the back of her head and kissed her.

She set her drink down quickly and grabbed at his shoulders to bring him closer. His hands moved to her waist and he pulled, bringing her flush against him. She moaned as they kissed each other frantically. He relished the taste of her mouth, sweetened by the champagne.

She moved her arms to wrap around his neck, brushing her fingertips through the smooth hair of his ponytail. She pulled her arms back to trail her hands down his neck, down his shoulders, over his chest, and undid the first button of his shirt. He pulled away abruptly.

"I'm sorry."

"Why did you stop?"

"I've never done this before."

She couldn't help but grin. "You've never kissed a girl before?"

"No!" He flushed. "Not that. I mean, not _like this_. I've never... moved this quickly before."

Any other words he attempted to say stuck in his throat as he watched her slowly remove one of her gloves. Even her hands were lovely. She threw the long material around his neck and brought him back to her, inches from her lips.

"It's called _lust_ , darling," she said breathily. _"Give in to it."_

She kissed him again, her remaining gloved hand cradling his cheek. He pulled back to gently pluck at the material on her fingers before dipping down and pulling, stripping her of the glove with his teeth. She bit her lip in absolute delight.

He wanted to tell her. That it was more than just lust. That there was something deeper. But he did not dwell on the thought. In fact, the only thing he wanted to dwell on right now was getting her out of her dress.

He moaned into her mouth as their tongues entwined. He gently brushed the straps of her dress from her shoulders and pulled down to expose her chest. He ran his hand up her naked thigh until he found the bunched fabric at her waist. He pulled back and together, they slipped the dress from her hips. She kicked the dress aside, now only dressed in lacy, black panties and her stilettos.

His mouth was on her again, one hand massaged her breast, while the other was wrapped around her waist, keeping her close as they ground against each other. Her hands moved to undo the second button of his shirt. He stopped her by spinning her away from kitchen island and carrying her to her bed.

He threw her down and watched her sink into the thick comforter. She leaned up on her forearms with a devilish grin. Her legs spread and he stood, in more ways than one, admiring her. She was stunning. She crooked a finger at him, silently telling him to _get over here already_.

He climbed over her and kissed her deeply, running his fingertips over her most sensitive area, still covered with lace. She gasped as he moved his tongue down her throat and slipped his fingers underneath the fabric. It was dizzying how aroused he felt as she moved against his increasingly slick fingers. Ashi groaned loudly. "God, I want you _naked._ "

He removed his fingers from her and leaned up, giving her the perfect opportunity to flip him over. She wanted to undress him herself. She settled on his hips and smoothed the fabric of his shirt with her palms. He moaned softly as she leaned down to kiss his neck and every inch of skin exposed by the unbuttoning of his shirt.

She kissed the hard plane of his chest, moving down and unbuttoning slowly. Soon, her lips reached the top of his abdomen. She kept encountering hard muscle. _What the?_ She sat up and undid the last three buttons frantically before yanking his shirt open completely.

"Holy shit," she whispered. "You are _hot._ "

Her hands traced the defined muscle of his torso in amazement. "You're a _history teacher?_ "

"Professor," he blurted out. He was not used to this kind of attention. "I enjoy exercise?"

"I can see that," she said dreamily. She kissed each ripple of muscle at his abdomen. She ran her tongue along the deep 'V' shaped line of his hips. He was delicious.

She unbuckled his belt and slowly undid the button and zipper of his pants. She ran her hand along the hard length of him through the fabric of his underwear. She flicked her tongue out to make her intentions clear. He had other ideas. He sat up and pulled her to him in a straddle, flipping them over once more. But this time, he fell off the side of her bed, pulling her towards him as he settled on his knees. He hooked his fingers into the waistband of her panties and pulled them off with agonizing slowness.

"I insist," he said huskily.

Ashi swore. This must be the best night of her life. Her head lolled backwards against the comfortable sheets, her moans increasing in intensity as her handsome stranger lapped and suckled at her with his talented tongue. She moved her hand to make a fist at the top of his head in his dark hair. Her hips moved gently against his mouth. He was good. This would not take long.

He moaned against her as her breathing became frantic. She was cursing a lot more now. Usually, foul language made him uncomfortable but her words spurred him on, making him want to pleasure her until she cried herself hoarse. Her cries escalated, her hips bucked beneath him, forcing him to hold her to steady her.

Her back arched as she reached her peak. _"Jack!"_ Her hands slammed into the sheets, fisting them so tightly she thought they might rip. Her whole body thrummed with her orgasm as she rode out the sensation on his lips. She rested her calves on his shoulders as she came down, shivering as his tongue still flicked against her. He placed one more open-mouthed kiss on her clit before she whimpered, the sensation now overwhelming.

Their eyes made contact. Jack licked his lips slowly, savoring her taste. She smiled brilliantly. He kissed the delicate skin of her inner thigh and moved up her body with a smirk, stopping at her breasts to tease her nipples with his mouth. Ashi was still shaking, somehow simultaneously satisfied yet still wholly aroused.

She pulled his head up from her chest and rewarded him with a long, deep kiss. His mouth was still warm with her. It made her feel giddy.

Jack finally stood and slipped out of his shoes, kicking them behind him. He grabbed the waist of his pants and pulled down, underwear and all, finally removing the rest of his clothing. He stood up straight.

Ashi could hear a chorus of angels in her head cheering her on. The man was gorgeous.

She sat up and reached for the drawer of her nightstand. She pulled out a small square package and ripped the side off with her teeth. She ran a hand over his dick lovingly, as if admiring a work of art. Her tongue ran up and down the length of him a few times before finally engulfing him in her mouth.

Jack grit his teeth at the sight. He could feel the back of his neck break out into a sweat as he watched himself disappear in her heat. He moaned as she swirled her tongue around the tip, taking him in further and further. His shoulders relaxed and his head fell back when he felt himself hit the back of her throat. He panted lightly, running a gentle hand through her hair.

She released him with a smirk, pumping her hand around him. She removed the condom from its wrapper and slid it on him. Jack gently nudged her shoulders, pushing her back onto the bed.

He situated himself between her legs and pushed in slowly. _Too slowly._

"Jack," she whined. _"Please."_

He smirked. She wouldn't have expected such a look from a man so shy but _damn it_ if it wasn't sexy. He pulled out and thrust back inside with a force that made her back arch. He set a rhythm, a fast one, digging his short nails into her thighs. She cried out in ecstasy.

He wrapped her legs around his neck, reaching down to grab her ass to angle her hips up. His thrusts, the angle, created a buildup of pressure in her body that she was quick to release.

 _"Fuck!"_ She shuddered against him again, her muscles pulsating around him making it hard for him to remain focused. His thrusts were becoming erratic at the sensation as her body released, then calmed.

He slowed his hips down as she panted, laughing, running her hands up and down her body in her second post-orgasmic haze. She opened her eyes to look up at him with a lazy grin.

"Would you like to take a break?" he asked, slightly out of breath.

"Did you come?"

He shook his head. She sat up and grabbed him, pulling him down to lay flat on his back. She threw a nimble leg over his hips to straddle him, positioning herself over his length.

"Then _hell_ no." She sank herself down. He groaned. Her body moved so gracefully, so sensually, that he could only stare in raw hunger as she rode him. He could feel a familiar tightening in his sac, telling him that he was close. He grabbed her hips and thrusted up wildly. She exhaled a throaty moan at his aggression.

Her body fell against his and he held her tight, panting into her neck, breathing in her scent. He buried his hand in her hair and pulled. She squealed. He screwed his eyes shut as his muscles spasmed. He cried out her name and his hips kept thrusting, riding out the intense wave of his own orgasm.

His hips finally slowed as he finished. He released his grip from her head and ran it lazily, exhaustedly, down her back. He could hear breathy laughter in his ear. She sat up and looked into his eyes. He was pretty sure his heart was going to burst. He pushed her bangs away from her damp forehead before pulling her down to kiss him.

They kissed each other slowly, sensually, moaning softly in appreciation of the other's touch. She eventually moved to his side and kissed his neck. Jack removed the condom from himself, tying it off and tossing it to a wastebasket across the room. It went in quietly, not even touching the rim of the basket. "Nice aim," she complimented.

He shrugged. "Lucky throw." She laughed and sidled herself next to him. He opened his arms to her and kissed her deeply, touching various parts of her exposed skin: her shoulders, her hips, her back. She reciprocated his touch.

Eventually, their kissing ceased. She looked up at him.

"So," she whispered, lightly trailing her fingertips up his chest. "How about that drink?"

He laughed heartily as she removed herself from his arms. She raised a leg into the air curiously. "Huh," she said, looking at her high heels. "I never took these off." She shrugged, not bothering to do so now. She left the bed to retrieve the forgotten glasses. Jack watched her walk to the kitchen. He'd never seen a naked woman in high heels before.

What a sight it was.

* * *

She awoke when she heard a faint 'click'. Her eyes opened slowly, groggily taking in the scene. An empty bottle of champagne sat at her bedside table along with one empty glass and another filled a fourth of the way. Most of the carbonation in it had died, a few stray bubbles floating up the center of the glass.

She groaned feeling _slightly_ hungover. She looked at the clock. It was early. She did not know exactly what time she and her bedmate had finally passed out from exhaustion but she knew she had not been asleep long. She rolled on her back and stretched her arms over her head. She looked at the spot beside her with a smile. Her smile left her immediately.

Jack was gone.

Ashi sat up and frowned. Must have been the 'click' of the door that woke her up. She couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. She had felt a... connection to him. Which was rare. Come to think of it... she'd never experienced a connection like this to anyone else before.

She had been with a handful of men in her life, so she was used to this type of scenario. Waking up alone. But normally _she'd_ be the one leaving or kicking a man out. She wasn't used to being the one left.

She supposed she wouldn't have cared one way or the other if this had been someone else. But Jack was... different. He was so smart and sweet and shy. He made her laugh. And don't get her wrong, the sex was _phenomenal,_ but she genuinely liked the other things he had to offer. She liked the sound of his voice, the gentle way he'd held her, and...

She leaned forward in bed, rubbing her temples and chastising herself. None of that mattered. He was gone and she was leaving, anyway. On to the next mission.

She got out of bed and downed the remaining champagne in the glass. It tasted bitter. Another poor decision. What a morning this was turning out to be.

She shuffled her way to her bathroom, noting that her dress had been hung up on a hanger and hung over the bathroom door. She rolled her eyes. At least he had been courteous enough to do _that._

She took her time in the shower, letting the warm water ease her muscles and the steam relax her. She didn't know how long she'd been in there but she begrudgingly turned off the water when she noticed her fingers beginning to wrinkle.

She stepped out of the bathroom wearing the soft, fluffy robe the hotel provided. She scrubbed at her wet hair with a towel but froze as she heard a noise at the door. She walked over to it carefully and closed one eye for better focus as she looked through the peephole.

She gasped.

She opened the door and saw Jack, balancing two cups of coffee in one hand and a few crinkled brown bags in the other. He held her room key in his teeth. He tried smiling at her and wishing her good morning but it was awkward given the piece of plastic between his lips.

She snatched the key out of his mouth before folding her arms, staring at him coldly. His shoulders slumped as if he'd done something wrong. She smirked.

"You know that's what room service is for."

His features eased into a smile. "I did not want to disturb your rest." She stood aside and let him walk back into her room. "Besides, the quality of this shop is much better."

"Is that so? You don't even know if I _like_ coffee."

"You mentioned you had a fondness for Cuban espresso when you travel."

"I did?"

"Well," he laughed, "you said it once. You said you enjoyed one when your flight landed yesterday morning."

"Wow," she said, nodding her head. "I'm impressed. You are a good listener."

He chuckled at that, placing the drinks on the coffee table in front of one of the couches. He handed a cup to her as she sat on the couch with her legs folded beneath her. She thanked him and gently popped the lid off the cup and inhaled the aroma. Strong and sweet. Just like she liked it.

"Do you need cream or sugar?" she asked him. "I have some in the kitchen."

"Do not worry," he responded. He dumped one of the bags on the table that was filled with small cups of cream and packets of sugar.

She took a long sip of her coffee and exhaled in contentment. She grabbed a sugar packet and emptied it, swirling it around with a wooden stick she found among the small mess on the table. She poked at the other bags. "What else have you got here?"

"A few bagels, in case you were hungry." He picked up one of the bags and presented it to her. "There's something else."

She set her coffee cup down and took the bag from him. She pulled out a long chocolate covered pastry with an elongated 'ooh'.

"It is a honeyed-chocolate eclair. I wasn't sure what to get you but you seem to like things... sweet?"

She took a bite and her eyes widened immediately. "Oh," she said before covering her mouth to finish her bite. "Oh my god. This is _delicious_."

He smiled. "I am glad you enjoy it."

She scooted closer to him and placed a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you," she whispered. She did not pull back from his space. He turned his head and kissed her softly on her lips.

"You're welcome," he whispered back, angling his head to get a deeper kiss. She giggled in pure bliss as she wrapped her arms around his neck, eclair still in hand.

"Would you like a bite?" He turned to see the treat dangling inches away from his face. He opened his mouth and took a small bite off the corner.

"Hm," he remarked, "this is quite good."

She removed herself from the couch and set her treat on the table. She grabbed his hands and pulled him up. She ran suddenly, a delighted squeal escaping her as she jumped on the bed, landing on her back. She felt dizzy with excitement. With happiness.

He climbed over her but did not move any further. He instead looked down at her with a warm smile. He looked positively smitten.

"You look like Christmas morning," he whispered, running a gentle hand to brush her bangs away from her forehead.

She bit the inside of her lip. Let it be known that Ashi _did_ _not_ enjoy sweet talk. She found it incredibly cheesy. Boring. But something about it from _him_ : this handsome, demure, deep-voiced but soft-spoken man, had her insides fluttering.

"I find that men who sugar coat their words lack sincerity." Her words lacked any bite and she knew it. She knew she was blushing.

He laughed. "I apologize. You're cute when you're flustered."

She exhaled a breath through her nostrils, half annoyed, half amused that he would use her words against her. Oh well. Two can play at that game.

"Christmas morning, hm?" She reached down and toyed with the knot the kept her robe closed. "Well, aren't you going to open your presents?"

He immediately leaned down to kiss her. They laughed against each other's mouths.

It wasn't until hours later, when both could do nothing else than stare into each other's eyes, did Ashi give a name to her feelings.

 _Oh shit._

* * *

 _Author's Note_

Well there you have it. I'm off to hell to repent for my sins. I'll miss you all!

But seriously, the next chapter is in the works. Cause this doesn't even _remotely_ resemble 'Mr. and Mrs. Smith'. It will soon. But this first damn chapter is _so long_ that I don't know when the next one will be ready. Plus, I've still got _I Exist_ to work on. Alas. At least this makes for a good one shot.

Thank you all for reading. Reviews are always appreciated!


	2. Marry

_Author's Note_

BET YOU THOUGHT I FORGOT ABOUT THIS ONE. I HAVEN'T.

HAPPY JASHI WEEK! HAPPY TIMELESS TUESDAY! For today, I thought I would just dump a whole mess of new chapters, since it's all about exploring new timelines or alternate endings. What better way to kick things of with the WORST AU IN HISTORY.

Seriously. I love/hate this story. It's so difficult to base plot on a weak movie like Mr. and Mrs. Smith. It's a fun premise! Don't get me wrong. But the actual plot of the movie is so thin, it's hard to adapt.

THAT BEING SAID this chapter legit took me a month to write. I wrote it, threw it away, wrote a new one, threw that away, etc., etc. and now I'm left with this.

This chapter is full of plot. The next will have smut! Because, really, that's the only reason this story exists. FOR SMUT.

Enjoy!

* * *

Kiss, Marry, Kill

* * *

Chapter Two:

Marry

* * *

"Hold on. You _what?_ "

"I'm in love."

"You've barely known the girl a month!"

Jack sighed dreamily. What a month it had been.

When he'd left Okinawa after three dizzying days of kissing, dining, and laughing, he feared he would never see her again. But what a joyful surprise it had been, when on the second day of his returning home, that he should visit his parent's restaurant for dinner and see her there.

 _"My name is Ashi and I think I'm in love with your son."_

 _Jack's mother's eyes widened at the declaration. She seated her at a special table in a private room near the kitchen, reserved for only her best guests. Her smile grew as the young woman told her story of how she'd met her son and how close they had become over a few short days._

 _She greeted her son excitedly upon seeing him enter the restaurant later that evening._

 _"My son, we have a very special guest." She escorted him into the private area. Jack gasped at the sight of her. "She has told me touching stories of the brief time you have spent together."_

 _Jack flushed, hoping she had spared the 'touching' details. She winked at him._

 _She stood from the table and approached him. He held out his arms and she wrapped hers around his waist in a tight embrace. He kissed her hair._

 _"I am so glad you're here."_

Since their reunion, the two had become inseparable. She had requested a few weeks off from her job to spend time with him. Jack had never experienced such overwhelming happiness.

"How do you know she's not some sort of... femme fatale? Trying to seduce you or something?" Jack and his closest friend and colleague, codenamed 'The Scotsman', were taking a brief break from their sparring session.

"For what purpose?"

"Who knows? It's happened before. _To you._ It could happen again."

Jack shook his head, dismissing his friend's worry. "She is unlike anyone I have ever met."

"Doesn't mean she isn't scheming. They all do. Just a whole gender of schemers, I tell ya. She'll wear you down, slowly, cripplingly. Then she'll leave you penniless and broken."

Jack deadpanned. "You live with your mother."

"I choose to," the Scotsman scoffed. "Because she's the only woman I've ever trusted."

Jack offered his friend a ridiculously stupid grin. "I asked her to marry me."

The Scotsman threw a gloved punch at his friend's head. Jack didn't even dodge.

* * *

"So you're really going through with this?"

"Yep."

"And... you don't think this is all happening too fast?"

"Nope."

The woman, clad in all black regarded her friend in bewilderment. "I'm confused," she said. "I've never seen you in any sort of steady relationship and now, all of a sudden, you're getting _married?_ "

Ashi grinned. "Yeah. He's a dream. He's funny and kind and I just fell for him so easily. And he travels a lot and is often held up in the libraries on campus late at night so he's gone just as much as I am. It's perfect."

Her friend kept opening and closing her mouth, not knowing what to say. She watched as Ashi raised her knife, aimed and released, the blade hitting the target's dead center. Like always.

"Plus," she said, making a 'V' shape with her fingers and holding them up to her mouth. "He eats like a _god_."

"Come on," her friend sneered. "I mean, good for you but you don't need to tell me that."

The two women snickered.

* * *

That was five years ago.

Or was it six?

No, five, definitely five. Six?

Ashi wasn't sure. And she never had the heart to ask him, knowing it would hurt his feelings. She made a mental note to check her calendar. She was standing in their bathroom, staring at her reflection in the mirror. She sighed, not looking forward to another mundane day.

Jack entered the bathroom and removed his robe. He must have just been outside to get the newspaper. Ashi took up her toothbrush and began brushing vigorously.

"Be sure to bring an umbrella with you today," he said. "I believe it will rain."

"Mm," she replied before spitting into the sink. She turned and walked to their shared closet to get dressed. He followed. She pulled on a simple white blouse and tucked it into a high-waisted black pencil skirt. Jack buttoned up a light lavender-colored shirt. She smiled slightly. She had purchased that shirt for him as a gift. She always liked how he looked in that color.

He opened a cabinet to retrieve a tie, accidentally bumping her arm with his elbow. "Sorry." She didn't respond, bending over to retrieve her favorite, every day black heels.

"Would you like breakfast this morning?" he asked.

"No, I'm kind of running late as it is. I'll grab a piece of fruit on my way out." She kissed his cheek lightly. "Have a good day today."

He smiled. "You, too."

She sighed heavily as she got into her car. She caught a reflection of herself in her rear-view mirror and grimaced. When had her life become this... droll?

Their house was boring. Their neighborhood was boring. They had boring friends. Rich, snobbish idiots that only talked about their children and income taxes and _golf_. She fucking _hated_ golf.

And her relationship, as much as she hated to admit it, had grown stale. Don't get her wrong, she still loved Jack deeply, but she couldn't help but feel that there was... space. Between them. And it was growing. All of the secrets, years of them, had not been particularly kind to their relationship.

It didn't surprise her. Her job had become especially suffocating in the past few years. When she'd first met Jack her assignments were simpler. Granted, she had never been in what she would describe as an ideal situation, but things since then have certainly escalated. But she couldn't tell him that. She couldn't tell him anything. And it was making everything worse.

Adding on to that shit storm, she could tell he had secrets, too. But that was okay, right? Every couple has secrets.

Ashi groaned through clenched teeth at her own attempt to justify her thoughts. Her secrets were... a bit more extreme.

* * *

"So who's the target?"

A woman, a young one, one of the interns, she assumed (she was far too fresh-faced to have been a hardened veteran), handed her a dossier for her next mission.

"You know him. Samuel Davis. Codename 'Scaramouche.'"

Ashi's eyebrows lifted in surprise. "One of our own, huh? Why has his assassination been ordered?"

The other woman shrugged. "A few weeks ago he broke up with his boyfriend, another one of our own. You know him as codename 'Demongo.'"

Ashi sucked her teeth. "That's why you date _outside_ of the business. But," she said curiously, "that doesn't explain why his head's on the chopping block. This isn't exactly the show ' _Cheaters_ '."

"Well, after their break up, Scaramouche started going crazy. Saying that he was finished with this 'life of crime'. He's threatened to rat out our group to rival gangs as payback for all the 'years of mistreatment'," the woman snorted. "There's even rumors saying that he'll go to the Samurai."

Ashi's lips formed into an 'O' shape. So it was rather serious. To say that the Samurai had been a thorn in her institution's side for the past several years was a wild understatement. In fact, Aku, the big boss himself, had issued a special warrant: anyone who could deliver the Samurai's head would be rewarded with one wish. Anything they desired. Most just wanted money. But Ashi had something different in mind.

 _Freedom._

She had been saving away money since she was a teenager two decades ago. And since she was often tasked with some of the most difficult assignments, she had always been paid handsomely. But her entire life had been spent under Aku's thumb and she wanted out. Others had tried. And they were punished. Severely. But maybe this. If she could just put down her boss' most hated enemy, she could be granted that wish.

"But... none of this makes any sense," she said finally. "Scaramouche has been one of Aku's most loyal servants since I was a kid. Why is he doing this now?"

"Beats me. I just hand out the paperwork."

Ashi chewed her lip thoughtfully. "Right."

* * *

 _I'll go it alone, that's how it must be_

 _I can't be right for somebody else_

 _If I'm not right for me_

 _I gotta be free, I just gotta be free_

 _Daring to try, to do it or die_

 _I gotta be me_

Ashi bit the inside of her cheek. She was hiding in the rafters of the nightclub, watching as the small crowd thinned out to nothing. It was a shame, really. Scaramouche was a really good singer. It's too bad no one will ever be able to enjoy his voice again. She hadn't been particularly close to her boss' former right-hand man but she had known him for quite some time. A nice man, well, as nice as anyone could be in their 'industry'. A little eccentric. She exhaled a slow breath from her nostrils as she leveled the aim of her gun.

Years ago, when she had been roped into this mess against her will, her job would consist of deliveries. No one would ever suspect a seven-year-old girl of peddling drugs. As she grew older, her skills of stealth became fine tuned, and she would be deployed on increasingly dangerous jobs. Robberies, and the like.

She was only seventeen when she made her first kill.

It was an accident, a robbery gone wrong. But after she'd returned from her mission, Aku put a hand on her shoulder and congratulated her. Since then her training became more intense. It was not long afterwards that she became who she was today. An assassin.

She didn't _exactly_ enjoy killing, but, she justified, that despite these deeds being carried out for the selfish sake of their own group, that those she did take out helped, in a small way, to better the environment she lived in. They were awful people and the world was better without them. It was a weak sentiment. She knew it. But she had no choice.

Actually, she had one choice. It happened the day she was assigned to kill a woman for not keeping current on her debts. She visited her home and discovered that the woman was very young, single, trying to raise a child by herself. She feigned coming to the wrong address and walked away, letting the woman live. She went to Aku herself and loudly proclaimed that she would not be the deliverer of death to innocent lives.

She had been punished severely.

Not by Aku himself, of course. The bastard rarely liked getting his hands dirty.

She had woken up in a hospital the next morning, her eyes swollen shut, bruises smeared unnatural color over her body. She could hear Aku's voice beside her.

"I am sorry that it had to be this way," he spoke slowly. "But your disobedience could not go unpunished."

"Fuck you," she had said. "You can beat me all you want. You can kill me right now. I will not take the life of an innocent."

He sighed. She couldn't see it, but she felt his hand brush the hair on her head. She flinched but did not waver. She heard him whisper.

"Very well."

That moment, everything seemed to change. Her targets were exclusively 'scum of the earth' types. Rival assassins. Gang members. Dealers who sold their products to children. She became... freer. Aku's goons couldn't touch her anymore. In fact, they seemed to respect her. Almost fear her.

She had spat in the face of the big boss himself and lived. No one else had ever been granted such immunity.

If she were anyone else, she would be proud. But her defiance was only the first drop in the ever brimming hatred of Aku that brewed in her stomach.

She inhaled deeply and released, ready to get this over with. The only people left in the room now were Scaramouche and a janitor who was sweeping the floors across the room. At least he was incredibly out of the way. But then a figure at the door caught her eye. A tall man, dressed in all black, face shielded by darkness, bearing a 'zintaris' symbol on his back.

 _The Samurai._ Oh, good lord, this was a lucky day. Kill Scaramouche. Kill the Samurai. And all of her troubles would finally be over.

She watched the two chat and pressed a button on the side of her mask to begin recording their conversation. She had it planted there months ago, often finding it useful to listen to recordings of her encounters, lest they be useful for future missions.

The rain hitting the room of the nightclub made it difficult to determine what they were talking about. She hoped the rain would drown out any sounds she made. The gun was loaded. Cocked. Aimed. For the Samurai's head.

She was taken by surprise when his head suddenly jerked up toward her. He shouted. "Run!" She fired.

The Samurai had managed to dodge and grabbed Scaramouche by the wrist, dragging him to the exit. She kept firing but to no avail. Both of her targets managed to make their way to the door and run away.

"Goddamnit!" She dropped from the rafting to a table that broke under the impact. She hopped up, landing on her feet, and ran towards the door.

She kicked it open and saw the two running down the alley behind the club. She lifted a pistol from her waist and fired six times, emptying the barrel. Her targets were still running. She was furious. The mistiness of the rain had made it difficult for her to aim beneath her mask. She started running. She caught up to them quickly, the Samurai no doubt slowed down by the weight of dragging Scaramouche.

She was taken by surprise for a second time that night when suddenly the Samurai spun Scaramouche away from himself and turned to face her.

"You need to run!" she heard him say. "I will hold them off as long as I can!"

She smirked. _We'll see about that._

She charged at him, leg forward, aiming a kick to his chest. He blocked and pushed back, countering with a fist to her stomach. She blocked, growing angrier and angrier as each of her blows were blocked and countered.

She removed a blade from her waist and grabbed his wrist that was once again aiming for her stomach. She pulled him forward, knocking him off balance and slashed at his shoulder. She felt giddy as he shouted out in pain. This was it. Sink the blade into his neck. Freedom had never been so close.

She didn't get the chance.

She saw stars as he forced himself up, grabbing the top of her head, and butted her forehead, sending her backwards until she hit a solid concrete wall. She heard a resounding crack, clear to her even in the pouring rain.

Her mask was breaking. _Shit_.

She needed to get out of here _now._

She watched the Samurai turn and run away, clutching at his shoulder. She felt relieved. But also incredibly angry. She wanted to keep pursuing him. He was injured and she could still fight. But with her mask about to break, she couldn't risk it. She couldn't be discovered.

She snuck her way back into the club, even more relieved that no one else occupied it. It seemed the lone janitor had fled in the previous commotion. She worked her way back up the rafters to gather her gear. It wouldn't be long before the police showed up. Not that it mattered. She was a master of disappearing.

* * *

Ashi chewed her nail anxiously as she gathered her data. She had a blood sample, barely a drop, most of it having washed away in the rain. But that analysis would take all night. But she also had the corrupted data from the recording device in her mask.

She was too far away from Scaramouche or the Samurai to clearly pick up on their exchanges. And because the recorder had been damaged in her fight, she was beginning to lose hope that she would find anything useful.

However, it was the first time she had heard the Samurai's voice in person. She had her computer analyze the recording to see if there were any potential match ups in her database that she'd been collecting. She knew she was grasping at straws, for the recordings she collected consisted mostly of other thugs and criminals. A 'hero' like the Samurai would probably not match any of those.

But she was desperate. If she could find the Samurai and kill him, all of this would be over.

Her eyebrows lifted in surprise when her program was complete.

 _One possible match found._

She listened to the recording from her mask. It was muffled but she could make out a few words.

"I... expecting... to meet... soon... annivers—Aku... please..."

She typed in a command. The computer responded with a visualization of the broken word _'annivers'_. It mapped, or at least that was the intent, the cadence of the voice. She replayed it again but it still did not make sense.

She typed another command. To play the possible match.

It was from her voicemail. From her... personal phone? Her eyebrows furrowed. What was going on? The computer read aloud the date and time of the message.

 _Tuesday, May eighth at ten-twenty-seven a.m._

 _Hello, Ashi. I wanted to call and wish you a happy anniversary. I wish I could be there with you. I love you._

"What?" she whispered. This was crazy. Her program obviously needed some fine tuning. This was just a coincidence. Why would the hell would the program believe the voice of the Samurai and the voice of her husband were a match?

She typed in the same command to bring up the visualization of Jack's voice saying _'anniversary'_. The cadence matched.

But this was just a coincidence!

She brought up a window so she could do her own recording. "Anniversary." The visualization came up once more, showing a completely different cadence. She recorded again, slowing down her voice, trying to match Jack's. Again, the program showed her the ways in which their voices were different. But Jack's and the Samurai's were so... similar.

"No," she said again. "No, no, _no!_ " This was impossible. Jack was a gentle soul, shy and reserved. There's no way that it was him running around in the darkest corners of the city beating up drug dealers.

Sure, he had a collection of katanas. But that didn't mean anything! Lots of people collected things!

And, alright, he had a weekly 'date' with friends where they would spar together. But that didn't mean anything either! What was wrong with a man staying in shape?

And... he spent a lot of time traveling. Away from her. Staying at work late. Or coming home with bruises that he claimed were from a sparring session.

Her mind slowed to a crawl. Was this... really possible?

She heard her phone ding. It was a text message. From Jack.

 _I am sorry but I will be spending tonight on campus. I still have much research to do._

At the same time, an alert popped up on her other device.

 _Imperial Palace Hotel. 7 pm. Review dossier for list of targets._

She scrolled through them. Eight men in total. Including a politician and a police officer. The last two on the list?

Scaramouche.

And The Samurai.

 _Jack?_

Her hand fisted was only one way to find out.

* * *

 _Author's Note_

Riddled with cliches and ridiculousness. But at least I finally got it done! I literally could not look at this chapter for another second.

I hope you enjoyed! The next chapter is in the works, but, like this one, is probably gonna be trashed and rewritten a dozen times until I grow tired of it and just post it lol.

Love you all!


	3. Kill: Part One

_Author's Note_

Welcome back to Kiss, Marry, Kill!

Did you know this story was only supposed to be three chapters long? Part I for Kiss, II for Marry, and III for Kill. But chapter one was five thousand words of filth. Chapter two ended up being nearly nine thousand words of plot and that just wouldn't do so I had to split them up. That's why this chapter is ready so fast! I already had most of it written! Hoorayyy.

I'm actually pretty excited about this chapter. I wasn't at first, I rewrote so many scenes, but after sharing it with a few friends (shoutout to my Jashi pals on Discord!), I'm feeling pretty good!

I hope you all enjoy!

* * *

Kiss, Marry, Kill

* * *

Chapter 3:

Kill (Part One)

* * *

He had received a message on his device from Scaramouche. For protection. He'd heard that the assassin from the night before would be at the Imperial Palace Hotel for a gala tonight at seven o'clock in the evening.

He knew he had to abandon his usual samurai garb for this mission. He would have to blend in with the crowd. Fortunately, the event was themed. A masquerade.

He adjusted his tie as he scanned the room. He knew who he was looking for. And just like the night he'd met her, she stood out like a beacon. He spotted her. A stunning high-low cut dress that exposed the front of her legs and billowed past her feet in the back. A red mask that complimented the color of her lips.

 _Ashi._

He had only gotten a brief glimpse of her face during their fight last night before she'd held up her hands to cover her crumbling mask. He didn't recognize her straight away. But, when he had returned to his office on campus, he had done some research. It had taken most of the night, hours of reading and dead-ends and new leads, but he finally found something that shook him to his core.

The truth.

His wife, the only woman he had ever felt deep and palpable love for, was a hired gun. The last known woman standing of the once notorious Seven Daughters of Aku.

The shock he had felt last night had now been replaced with astounding bitterness. Rage coursed through his veins like the waters of a mighty river. He felt betrayed that a woman he loved so dearly worked for such a monster.

His resolve steeled. He took a step toward her as their eyes locked from across the ballroom.

He knew he could not let her leave this room freely.

* * *

Ashi's eyes narrowed as her husband approached her. Dressed in an all black suit and black mask that shielded his dark eyes. She would find him absolutely delicious if the hatred in her gut could be calmed.

Her voice analyzation from the previous night had left her in doubt. But the small amount of blood she'd collected from her blade proved, without a doubt, that it was him. Jack, her husband, and the Samurai were one in the same. And, judging by the look in his eyes as he narrowed the space between them told her he knew her secret, too.

They stood together, face to face.

"Jack."

"Ashi."

"What are you doing here?" she says as more of a statement than a question. "This doesn't _look_ like the library."

"I was invited here by a colleague. I'd love to hear your excuse."

"I've helped develop buildings in this city. My excuse is far stronger than yours."

The two stared at each other for a long time. She could feel anger bubble up inside of her. She couldn't believe that the man she had so desperately wanted— _needed_ —to kill wore the same face of the man she loved.

"Would you like to dance?" they both said at the same time.

"I'd love to," Ashi responded.

"My pleasure," said Jack.

Jack took her hand and the two moved to the edge of the dance floor. He placed a hand on her hip and held her other hand out to the side. She dug her nails into his shoulder, at the precise spot where she had cut him the night before. He grimaced.

"What's the matter, love? Hurt yourself?"

His expression steeled. He took a few forceful steps forward, running her back into a pillar. She coughed at the impact. She looked up at him and cursed the smug look on his face.

"I apologize. My steps have become rusty."

She growled. He twirled her away from the pillar and back into his arms.

"You didn't come home last night," she said. "Had a lot of research, you said. Make any interesting discoveries?"

"As a matter of fact." The broke apart slightly, linking their calves together quickly before meeting again. "There is something to be said for having many research facilities available at one's disposal."

"Mm," she purred. "Do tell."

"Did you know this city has a history of terrorism? I've always been fascinated by it. But one group stands out in particular." He leads her around the dance floor, his eyes locked on hers. "A group of seven, highly trained warriors known simply as the Daughters of Aku."

"Aku?" she feigned a gasp. "You mean that big, scary crime lord?"

"Big and scary, perhaps, if you are a coward."

"Hm." She kicked her leg to the side, straight into the air, an impressive display of her flexibility. His arm caught her beneath her knee, running his hand up the side of her thigh. "Careful, darling," she whispered. "There might be children watching." She spun out of his hold before he could reach too far.

"The strangest thing about these warriors," he continued, "is that there is virtually no record of them. No arrests warrants, no death certificates. It seemed that, slowly, they all just disappeared." He spun her around and locked her elbows behind her back with his arm.

He whispered in her ear. "All but one."

His other hand slid up her thigh until he encountered something. Hard. And bulky.

A gun.

He slipped his hand under her dress and removed it, tossing it into a potted plant. He turned her head to face him with a hard look.

"Do you always bring guns with you to work?"

She grinned, despite the animosity in her eyes. "Sometimes. Executives can be _awfully_ nasty."

He released her elbows and brought his hands to her waist. She grabbed at them and pulled them up into the air, turning back around to face him. Their dance started again and she wrapped her leg around his hip, her hands propped on his shoulders.

"You know," she said huskily, "this joke's been done to death, but I have to ask."

She brought her thigh down over his, letting the heel of her shoe trace a path down his calf. "Is that a gun in your pocket or, oh," she paused her sentence, smirking when she felt her heel hit something solid. "Nevermind."

She released her leg from his and smoothed her palms down his chest. She lowered herself to the ground, touching his thighs as she neared her target.

Gun strapped to the ankle. Classic.

She plucked it from him and slid it across the floor until it skidded under a table. She grabbed him by his belt and pulled herself up with deliberate slowness until she once more met his gaze. She licked her lips teasingly, mockingly, as her hands lifted to once again settle on his shoulders. "Don't tell me that's all you've got," she breathed.

They twirled together a few times before he suddenly dipped her backwards, letting his fingertips trace her throat down to her stomach.

"Does this dance not satisfy you?"

She echoed the words she had once spoken to him. Years ago. On the night they met.

"Are you asking me if I'm seduced?"

He lifted her again, roughly. Their lips were barely a breath apart.

"How did you know it was me?" he asked.

"Blood sample. From the wound on your shoulder. You?"

"Hair sample. You must have been careless while dressing last night." He moved his lips to whisper in her ear. "I've always been fond of pulling your hair."

She growled and released herself from his grasp. "Goodbye, Jack."

He grabbed her arm as she began to walk away and pulled her close once more. He looked into her eyes with a serious expression. It unnerved her. She tried pulling back again but he held her firm.

"Was I really just a cover for you?"

The question was like a slap in the face. He watched her expression shift from shock to sadness. His arms loosened around her and she stepped back.

Jack did not know what to feel. An assassin for Aku. This could not be the woman he loved. He saw her eyes flick across the room. He followed her gaze.

The politician for whom this party was thrown shook hands with a high ranking officer in the local police district. The officer was well known for dirtying his hands with bribes from many gangs in the area. They stood at the centerpiece of the ballroom, decorated with red roses and a small pyramid of champagne glasses.

Jack turned his eyes back to Ashi and saw that she was holding a small, round gadget. A detonator. His eyes widened.

"Ashi! _No!_ "

The centerpiece exploded, killing the politician and the officer who had stood their moments before, shaking hands.

He did not have time to pursue her fleeing form in the ensuing chaos.

* * *

The car sped along the freeway, her destination clear. She looked down at the display on her dashboard. An incoming phone call from Jack. She answered immediately.

"Samurai."

"The Last Daughter." His voice sounded hardened. Enraged. "Do you have any idea what you've just done?"

"My job."

"You killed six men!"

She ground her teeth as she swerved around a car ahead of her. " _None_ of those men were innocent."

"Where are you?"

She grinned. "Just heading home to pick up a few things."

"You know I have to pursue you."

"Come and get me."

"Ashi," his voice dropped, "I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't. And if you try, I _will_ kill you."

* * *

Jack entered his home cautiously. He had his gun, two of them actually, one tucked into the back of his pants and one held up in his hands, steady in front of him. He had removed his jacket in the car, allowing himself to move more freely. The first three buttons of his shirt were undone to get himself quick access to the small series of knives he kept in two pouches sewn into the breast.

He wished he'd had time to go to the basement, where he kept a healthy amount of artillery. But there was no telling where Ashi was or where she kept her own weapons. This would have to do for now.

He closed the back door as quietly as he could and moved toward the front of the house. He reasoned that she would be expecting him there. But he could not predict this for sure. He grabbed a tray in the kitchen, reflective, and shined it down the dark hallway. He proceeded out of the kitchen and hid behind a wall in their living room. He tried the trick again.

He spotted her, sitting at the top of the steps, gun pointed straight at him.

He ducked as her first shots rang out. Three in a row. He braced himself against the wall, panting.

"Hi, honey," she said. "I'm home."

"Ashi!" he called out. "This is your chance to come quietly!"

"I think you and I both know I've never _come quietly_."

He reared himself up, knife in hand, took quick aim and threw. He heard her reaction immediately.

 _"Ugh. Asshole."_

He quickly found himself running away again and the repetitive sound of bullet spray. Apparently, she had upgraded to an automatic weapon.

She made her way down the stairs and sprayed the gun about the living room. He had already moved back to the kitchen. He shot at her, aiming for her legs. She pointed the gun back at him and pulled the trigger. He had to open the refrigerator door to block and crawled away to take shelter behind the counter.

"Ashi, I will not hesitate!"

"Really?" he heard her say. "Because I'm pretty sure I'm the one who has you backed into a corner."

She hadn't seen him move behind the counter and was nearly shot in the arm when he raised himself from his hiding place.

They chased each other all through the house, shooting, shattering glass, ruining the walls of their home. Not like it mattered much to Ashi. She was bored with this house anyway. The two eventually ran out of ammunition for their guns and were now forced to stalk each other with blades.

He had just made it back to their living room in silence, where their fighting began. A glint out of the corner of his eye alerted him when Ashi threw. Three knives, to be precise. He dodged two of them easily but miscalculated the trajectory of one of the other. It cost him. The blade sank into his palm, causing him to drop his own knife in surprise pain.

From there, things began to move very quickly.

Ashi burst into the room, landing a solid hit on his cheek with her fist, sending him stumbling backwards towards the wall. He regained his senses, dodging another oncoming blow from her. Her fist went straight through the glass of a china cabinet, the clear shards cutting into her knuckles.

He dug the blade from his palm and tossed it aside. She yanked her fist from the cabinet and aimed a kick for his head. Jack put up his forearms to block and countered with a hard, open-palmed hit to her chest. She tumbled over the couch and fell to the floor. She struggled to catch her breath, winded by the blow, slow to get up.

"Ashi?" he called out nervously. Why was he still so concerned? It made her furious.

She leapt over the couch, aiming her fist at his head. He blocked it, spinning her around to throw her off balance and countered with an angled hand to her neck. She threw a hand up to block, grabbing his wrist and twisting. She butted her head at his forehead. Her leg lifted and delivered a punishing kick to his abdomen, sending him flying backwards and shattering what was left of the glass of the china cabinet.

Jack rapidly blinked away his double vision and steeled his senses. He lunged at her, grabbing her, and knocking her into the wall hard enough so her head cracked the wall. She was quick to duck, avoiding a brutal elbow aimed for her head. It was a good thing, too, as his blow released another chunk from the wall.

She wrapped her hands around his neck and pushed him back enough to give herself room to knee him in the stomach. She was successful the first time, not so much the second. He blocked and broke her grasp, putting his hands on her shoulders to return _his_ knee into _her_ stomach. He turned away and threw her to the ground.

She lay sprawled on the floor, barely any time to catch her breath, as Jack descended on her. But Ashi was nothing if not relentless, clawing at every inch of his body she could. Jack did his best to avoid her hands, wrapping his own around her throat. If he could just restrict her airway, for a little bit, and render her unconscious...

His jaw cracked as Ashi managed to free one of her fists and punch him in the face. _Repeatedly._

Had this been a sparring match, he would be impressed. But now he was just _pissed off._ He leaned up to smack her hand away from him, which gave her the perfect opportunity to release herself completely and throw him off of her.

She pounced, fisting her hand in the collar of his shirt and aiming a punch to his nose. He caught her fist and broke her arms apart, closing his eyes as he thrust his head upwards towards hers. She cried out at the impact. She rolled off of him, clutching her eye.

Jack rolled away from her and stood.

 _Don't ask her if she's okay. Don't ask her if she's okay. Don't. Ask. Her._

He couldn't help himself. "Ashi?" She didn't give him time.

She ran towards him in an instant and tackled him, the pair falling over the side of the couch, knocking the wind out of Jack as his back hit the floor. He recovered quickly, well, quicker than she did, she was still dizzy from the blow to her head. They stood slowly, panting heavily, eyes locked on each other, keen on when the other would make a move.

She blew air from her lips upwards to move the bangs from her forehead and stood up straight. He leaned his hands on his knees to catch his breath.

The glint from two blades bathed in moonlight redirected their focus. A moment later they lunged, tumbling over the couch to grab a respective blade. They confronted each other, each with a knife sidled directly against the other's throat.

They stood close enough that they could feel their breaths mingle. Jack looked into the eyes of his enraged wife. The same eyes that once spoke of so much love. He knew he could not let her leave. During their fight, he had convinced himself that he couldn't let her _live_. But the longer they stood together, the less he believed it.

His conviction faltered.

He pulled back, dropping the knife to the floor. The sound was stunning, echoing through the room with the ear-splitting clarity of nails on a chalkboard.

"I cannot. I won't."

Ashi pressed the blade into her husband's neck with a fraction more force.

"No! Don't do that! Come on!" She could feel tears brimming in her eyes. Her voice cracked. _"Come on!"_

Ashi was experiencing a similar conflict in her mind. It had been easy enough to shut off her emotions in the heat of battle. But now, standing so close to him, the look of sadness in his eyes.

 _No_ , she thought. If she killed him, if she shut down for one more moment, becoming cold and unfeeling, and ended this right now, she could be free. _If she killed him, she could be free._

"Do it if you must," he whispered. Her hands were shaking. She tightened the grip on her knife to steady herself but it did nothing to clear the blurriness of her vision.

A tear fell to her cheek.

Jack slowly moved his hand up to knock the blade away from his throat. He pulled her head to his and kissed her.

The knife slipped from her hand immediately and she returned his kiss with fervor. Any and all conflict she felt had been tempered. Her mind only sought one thing now. Her hands moved up to cradle the sides of his head and dug her nails into his hair, loosening it from the band that kept it together.

Jack crushed his lips to hers for a few more moments before roughly shoving her until her back hit the wall. She bit her lip in glee. He had never really been the type to manhandle her, so for him to be this intense was an absolute thrill.

She watched him unbutton his shirt, with one hand, with speed she'd never seen. She pulled his torso toward her as their mouths met again with dizzying energy. She wrenched the fabric down his shoulders and he shrugged it off. He leaned back and grabbed the top of her dress, ripping it open to expose her chest.

She gasped. She was a moment away from making a devilish comment. Jack silenced her with his mouth. He was in no mood for words.

He shoved the dress down her shoulders so that it bunched at her waist. He reached underneath it to drag his nails up her thighs and push her up on the wall, her legs automatically wrapping around his waist. They ground against each other, moaning into each other's mouths with urgency.

His lips left her mouth to leave a wet, biting trail down her neck, her chest, lapping at her nipples greedily. She made a fist in his hair and threw her head back with a high-pitched groan. He ran his tongue back up her chest and his eyes met hers. His eyes were on fire.

Ashi's breathing faltered. "God _damn_."

He turned away from the wall, carrying her, and set her down beside the couch quickly, before spinning her around and bending her over it. He dropped to his knees immediately and pushed the fabric of her dress up her legs. He licked the back of her thigh, all the way up to the curve of her ass and bit down hard on the soft flesh. Ashi closed her eyes, back arching, and cried out into the air.

He stripped her of her panties and ran his tongue over her. He moaned. She was already _so wet._

He stood, barely pushing his slacks down to free himself before burying himself inside her. They both moaned raggedly at the sensation. Jack wasted no time slamming his hips against hers, sinfully watching himself sink into her over and over and over.

Ashi gripped the fabric of the couch, grounding herself against his assault, and moving her hips to match his thrusts. "Oh, god," she groaned. He was already so, so _deep_. But she was greedy. She wanted him _deeper_.

She lifted a leg to rest her knee on top of the couch, giving each other a slightly different angle. Jack gripped her ass with a hiss.

"Fu— _mmm_ ," he panted, heavily, as her muscles tightened around him.

Ashi exhaled with a husky laugh. It might have been the closest she'd ever come to hearing him curse.

She wanted to change that tonight.

She arched her back and purposely clenched her inner walls. She didn't do all of those kegel exercises for nothing. She squealed in delight as his moans became louder, his thrusts nearly bruising in strength.

Unfortunately—well, no, it was actually very fortunate for her—her plan backfired. Where she was trying to get him to come so hard he'd let a naughty word slip, engaging her muscles around him actually heightened her own pleasure. She wasn't sure how much longer she could last.

She felt his hands slide up her back to grip her shoulders, giving him leverage to fuck her harder. One hand sunk into her hair and pulled and that's when she screamed.

"Fuck, I'm gonna come," she said, over and over, each time higher pitched until she snapped. "Oh god, _oh god—Jack! Fuck!"_

Jack clenched his teeth together so hard he thought his jaw would break. The noises she was making made him growl. The heat of her, so wet and tight, made his hips buck erratically. His fist in her hair trembled as his grip strengthened. He threw his head back.

He exploded.

 _"Ashi!"_

He closed his eyes as he released himself inside of her. His heart was pounding. He could hear blood pumping in his ears. His throat bobbed as he swallowed, gasping for air, trying to steady himself as his thrusts slowed. He leaned down to kiss the dampened skin of her back.

Ashi could swear, on anyone's life, that she heard him whisper into her back.

 _"Shit."_

Her own panting was now mingled with the sound of victorious laughter.

He slid out of her and Ashi immediately rolled over the front of the couch to lay on her back on the cushions. She stretched her arms above her head as he moved to hover over her. She brought a hand down and immediately punched him in the jaw.

She burst out laughing at the look of pure shock on his features. She shoved him off of her to the floor and straddled him.

Jack looked up at his wife with a smirk. "Still trying to kill me?"

She leaned down over him, twisting her fingers in his hair with a seductive smile. "Maybe I'm just trying to render you paralyzed." She grinned. "I've never heard you curse before."

"What?"

She moved her head to breath into his ear. "I heard it, while you were still _so_ deep inside of me." She nipped at his earlobe. "You cursed."

He flushed. "I did not."

Her lips moved to his neck. "Yes, you did." He protested again but she wasn't listening. She moaned into his neck.

"I want you to talk dirty to me," she said, running her tongue up his throat. "I want you to tell me _exactly_ how you want to fuck me."

He groaned. "Ashi..."

"Fine," she sat up and scraped her nails down his chest. Her smile was positively wicked. "Then maybe I'll just tell you."

* * *

Hours, a handful of soul-shattering orgasms, and a brief rest period in which Ashi had so eloquently put— _holy fuck, I can't feel my legs—_ later, Jack stood in the middle of their destroyed living room, having haphazardly brushed glass away from the floor. He admired his wife, dressed in his button-down shirt, who stood on her tiptoes, exposing the backs of her thighs. She was reaching for a particular record jacket. She removed the vinyl and placed it on the turntable, gently moving the tonearm onto the record's groove.

Dulcet music filled the space, soft and romantic, a sharp contrast to their ravished den. She turned to him and walked towards him slowly, biting her lip in an adorably shy smile. He returned it.

Ashi roamed her eyes up and down her husband's physique. Bare chested, underwear long since neglected, leaving his unbelted slacks to rest temptingly low on his hips. He had pulled his hair back but it was messy, a few strands escaping to frame his face. She reached for him, raking her nails up his sides and quietly laughing as his abdominal muscles tensed and he shivered. She moved her hands up further to rest her wrists on his broad shoulders.

"You weren't," she said, "faking it when you said you liked Dean Martin, right?"

He wrapped an arm around her waist and brought the other up to brush her hair behind her ear. "I was not," he whispered. He let his knuckles linger across her cheek as he held her close. He leaned his forehead to rest against hers as they slowly moved to the rhythm of the music.

She took a deep breath in and out, a small, contented smile on her face.

He pulled back slightly to kiss her forehead. He ran his fingertips across her eyebrow, frowning as he saw the slightly discolored skin where a bruise was forming. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Minor casualty of war, my love," she said back. She looked up at him and noticed a similar flourish of color on his jaw. "You aren't exactly unscathed, yourself." She kissed it tenderly.

"Hm," he laughed quietly. "I should not be surprised. You are as impressive as ever."

"Years of training will do that to a girl."

"Years?" He frowned. "How long have you been... involved in this line of work?"

"Longer than I ever wanted to be." She averted her gaze. "It's not exactly something I'm proud of."

"Ashi. I'm—"

"Don't," she interrupted. "Don't pity me, Jack. I did what I had to."

His voice lowered to a whisper, hesitant to ask the question pressing his mind. "How many?"

"How many what?"

"...People."

"How many people have I killed?" She smirked suddenly, despite the gravity of the situation. "That's a rather rude question to ask, don't you think? It's like asking a woman how much she weighs."

The gentle touch of his hand left her cheek as he offered her a serious expression. She swallowed, slightly unnerved by the look but pressed on despite herself and turned the tables of his inquiry.

"I suppose I should ask you the same question."

"We are... that is... different," he answered. "I have only taken lives as a last resort. For self-defense."

"Oh _please_ ," she scoffed. "Slinking around the underbelly of the city, busting up drug dens, looking for a fight?" She tilted her head in feigned wonder. "Can it really be called 'self-defense' when you're the antagonizer?"

Her narrowed his eyes at her. "Is it part of your covert persona that you have a smart mouth?"

She smiled wickedly and spoke in a low voice, enunciating every word carefully. "Oh, I'll _show you_ a smart mouth."

She pushed him towards the wall as she kissed him, her fingertips tracing the musculature of his hips, the fabric of his slacks, ready to pull them down and begin anew.

"In his defense," a voice said. Ashi was rendered dizzy as Jack spun her around, locking her to his waist, and grabbed a gun from the table adjacent to the wall. Ashi's eyes widened impossibly at their intruder.

She wore a black suit, similar to the skin-tight number Ashi wore during her missions, but hers was sleeveless, a hole cut at the top of it to expose her cleavage. She wore long, dark gloves and a devilish grin.

"He wasn't really being antagonistic. He was trying to stop a crime. Or future crime." The woman laughed, seemingly in genuine amusement at the situation. She looked at Jack. "That's what you would have said, right, love? Before your words were derailed by the promise of some lip service."

Jack's upper lip curled in hostility.

"Ikra."

* * *

 _Author's Note_

OH SNAP.

Damn it, Ikra. Ashi was _this close_ to getting on her knees. Why you gotta ruin things like that?

Stay tuned for the next chapter where things get even sillier! Well, actually, things are gonna start getting intense. When will I publish it? Who knows!

Reviews are always welcome! Thank you all for the love!


	4. Kill: Part Two

_Author's Note_

Was really hoping for a hat trick yesterday and post this sooner. Unfortunately, this chapter need a lot of TLC that I didn't have the patience to give it until today.

I hope you enjoy! This was a fucking blast to write.

p.s. Big props to technotreegrass for help and inspiration for this chapter!

* * *

Kiss, Marry, Kill

* * *

Chapter 4:

Kill (Part Two)

* * *

"You..." Ashi was stunned into temporary silence. Her husband's grip on her waist was tight, his eyes hardened to stone. She looked at Ikra, a woman she had known for years, a woman she almost considered a friend, in shock. "You two know each other?"

 _"Know him?"_ Ikra laughed, long and loud. Exaggerated, even. The lines in Jack's face deepened as he scowled.

Ikra swiped a fingertip under her eye, wiping away fake tears of mirth. "Oh, my. _Know him._ Where do you think he learned to fuck like that?" She swept the back of her hand beneath her chin and curled her lips upward; a smile meant for the devil. "All me, baby."

Jack's hateful expression did not waver as he lifted his gun to aim at her chest.

Ashi's jaw hung open in shock.

 _"You slept with my husband?"_

"God no," she said dismissively. "He was merely a boy when I met him." She pointed her gaze to him and licked her lips slowly. "I turned him into a man."

The aim was redirected from her chest to her forehead.

"Ease up, baby," Ikra said. "We both know you're not going to shoot me."

"I would not be so sure of that."

"Right, right. Because you've got your lady to protect." Ikra flashed Ashi a smile. "Ashi, my dear friend. When Jack told me all those years ago that he was getting married, I didn't know it was to _you."_

"Jack... _told_ you?" Her eyes narrowed, the bitter taste of jealousy coating her tongue. _"When?"_

"You were on a _business trip,"_ Jack explained. Ashi did not miss the implication in his tone that she must have been lying about the nature of said 'trip'. It hardly mattered now. "I wanted to make sure she never stepped foot in my door again. And that if she ever showed her face around me or my wife, my response would be swift."

"'Punishing', I believe was the phrase you used. A pretty sexy threat, if you ask me."

"No one is asking you," Ashi growled. She looked up at Jack. "You didn't think to tell me you'd met up with your crazy ex-whatever— _girlfriend_ —before marrying me?"

"Crazy is a weak term. Ikra is _psychotic."_

"Charming," Ikra said with a grin.

"Answer the question, Jack."

"I did not think it necessary, no." Jack looked down at his wife, his eyes still hard. "I did not know you two were _colleagues."_

"Colleagues!" Ikra laughed. "Ashi's like a sister to me! Well," she said, tilting her head in thought. "Considering what happened to her _real_ sisters."

"Sisters?" Jack asked. "What sisters?" His eyes shifted to Ashi. "You told me you were an only child!"

"I am." She winced. "Kind of."

"Didn't you know?" Ikra cut in. "The Daughters of Aku were one, big happy family. Septuplets, even."

"Yeah, I'm a real walking miracle of science," Ashi grumbled. She looked at Jack with cold eyes. "We will talk about this _later_." She looked back to Ikra. "What are you doing here, Ikra? I assume you came here to kill me?"

Ikra shook her head. "Quite the opposite, actually. I didn't come here to kill anyone. I came to congratulate you."

Ashi paused. "For what?"

"Your new life." Ikra looked at Jack. "Can you put the gun down now? I told you I'm not here to harm anyone."

Jack considered it. For all of one second.

"No."

Ikra sighed with a quiet laugh. "So be it." Her hands moved up to her chest. Jack took a small step forward, Ashi still attached to his hip, and growled.

"Be still!"

Ikra opened her palms. "Easy, easy. I'm not reaching for a weapon." She kept one hand open in front of him and used the other hand to reach beneath the top of her dress. Slowly, she pulled out a small, dark-colored pamphlet.

A passport.

"Josephine Clench," she read from the book. "DOB November 8, 1985. Ooh, look at that, you'll even get to be a few years younger." She waved the book towards Ashi. "It's all here, love. Passport, social security card, a one-way ticket to New York City. You'll get to live out the rest of your days as an American woman; far away from all of this."

Ashi's mind slowed to a crawl. Ikra continued.

"I have ten thousand dollars, _cash_ , out in the car. Figured you didn't need much more than that. I know how dedicated you are to saving up funds."

"I don't understand." Ashi gulped. "How do I know this isn't a trick?"

"I assure you, it is not. This is just Aku making good on his word. The gift of freedom."

"Ashi?" Jack looked down at his wife in confusion. He also did not understand.

"Think about it, Ashi," Ikra continued gently. "Aku finally knows the true identity of 'The Samurai'. He knows he's your husband. You obviously can't stay with him; Aku would have no choice but to take _both_ of you out. The only choice you have now, the only way to save your life." Ikra paused dramatically to look at Jack. "Is to end his."

Ashi looked between the two of them, once again conflicted. She loved Jack but her mission was clear. The hours of passion the two had just shared made it so that her brain did not see consequences. What was she to do now? If she couldn't kill Jack then, in the heat of battle and betrayal, could she do it now?

But seeing... evidence. That Aku would actually let her go; let her be free. It was all too good to be true, wasn't it? Who could she trust?

There was only one way to find out.

She elbowed her husband in the gut, removing herself from him in his shock, and wrenched the gun out of his hand. She stepped away from him and aimed the gun at his chest.

"She's right."

"Ashi?" Jack exclaimed.

She looked over at Ikra without lowering her aim. She stuck out her free hand.

"Let me see that passport."

Ikra did as she was asked. Ashi opened it up and flipped through the pages.

"What, did a college kid make this?" She closed it and threw it back at Ikra. "I can't use this!"

"A teeny, tiny, white lie," Ikra laughed. "The real passport is back with Aku. But I promise you it's all there. You're mere hours from true freedom."

"Ashi, don't listen!" Jack shouted. "She's lying to you!"

"Shut up," Ashi replied. She turned back to Ikra. "Why are you really here, Ikra? Why did Aku send _you?"_

"Why, because I'm one of the few people who knows what we're really dealing with when it comes to the Samurai." She tilted her head and offered Jack a smug look. "Isn't that right, Jack? You aren't the only one who has secrets."

"How?" Jack grunted. "How did _you_ find out?"

"I didn't know. At least, not at first. I met you, what, when you were just starting out? I had my suspicions but I never dwelled on them. Besides," Ikra said before licking her lips. "The things you were capable of in bed kept my mind delightfully occupied."

Ashi snarled as she redirected her aim on Ikra's chest. "Don't make me have to shoot you both."

"Sorry, love," she laughed, "just having a bit of fun." She tilted her head towards Jack. "You know, darling, you should be more careful who you show your sword collection to, lest they be able to recognize it on the battlefield."

"She's seen your _sword collection?"_ Ashi asked in utmost annoyance.

"It has only been seen by people I think I can trust," Jack said.

"The innuendo here is _delicious_ ," Ikra laughed.

"Both of you, _shut up!"_ Ashi screamed. She looked at Ikra. "If you knew all of this, if you knew the Samurai's true identity, why are you telling us now?"

"You aren't the only one who's found true love, darling. I just wanted to see his face one more time before his demise. Consider it an... early wedding gift." Ikra grinned.

Jack's face twisted in disgust. "You are _marrying_ Aku?"

"What, are you jealous?" Ashi said.

"No!" Jack shouted. "A psychopath and a psychopath. You two were meant for each other."

"Such a romantic," Ikra said, pretending to swoon.

"That's it!" Ashi snapped. "I've had enough of this." She whipped around and pointed the gun at Jack, her eyes gleaming with rage. "There is only one way to end all of this."

Jack held his hands up, trying to placate her. "Please, listen to me, Ashi. Aku is pure evil. He—"

"You don't think I fucking know that!" she interrupted. "I've lived under his thumb for almost my entire life! But there's a way out. This ends now."

"Please," Jack begged. "You cannot let it end this way. _Please."_

She kept speaking as if she wasn't listening. "One way to finally be free."

A shimmer of tears appeared in her eyes. She clenched her teeth as she made her decision.

"Forgive me, Jack," she whispered. Ikra noticed the how the moment seemed to drag on. She saw her friend's hand begin to tremble. She sighed dramatically.

"I had a feeling this might happen."

Jack's eyes widened in fear as Ikra reached behind her and pulled out a dagger. His words of warning to his wife caught in his throat as Ashi swung her arm back, without even looking at her target.

She fired.

Ikra stumbled backwards, hitting the wall behind her. Blood seeped out of the wound, the bullet having hit her square in the chest. She made no sounds, save for the gasping of her breath. She reached up and hovered her hands over her chest, as if afraid, unbelieving of the wound. She slumped down to the floor in a heap.

"No!" Jack shouted. He watched in horror as the light of life was extinguished from Ikra's eyes, the deceased woman slain by his own wife. He looked to Ashi in shock, struggling to breathe. "Ashi... why?"

Ashi did not answer. She turned at looked at her fallen colleague with disgust.

"I always told her that hole in suit was a stupid fucking idea."

She faced her husband with a cold stare. "Jack. You need to get away from here. _Now."_

"Ashi, I," Jack fumbled on his words, still reeling from witnessing death. "What are you talking about?"

"Aku knows who you are. It's only a matter of time before he finds out what I did. You need to get away from me as fast as you can."

"No," he said, his voice hardened. "I will not leave here without you."

"No, Jack. You don't understand. I just killed the fiancee of the most powerful mob boss in the city."

Jack shook his head. "That does not matter. I'm not leaving. Not without you."

"Don't you get it?" Ashi cried. "I just unseated you as public enemy number one! There is no way to keep you safe if you stay with me!"

"Aku is after me as well! I will not abandon you!"

"Jack! You're not listening!"

Their conversation was interrupted by a knock at the door.

The couple looked at each other in stunned silence. Ashi looked toward their front door, her stomach dropping with anxiety and dread. Blue and red lights flashed against their window.

 _"Shit,"_ she whispered. Someone had called the police.

She slowly made her way to the door and looked through the peephole. Two officers stood in front of their door and she recognized a woman, one of their neighbors, behind them.

 _"Shit!"_ she said with slightly more force. She gestured for Jack to move beside her. She undid a few buttons from Jack's shirt that she still wore and looked up at him.

"Follow my lead."

She wrapped an arm around his waist to bring him as close as possible and opened the door.

"Good evening, officers," Ashi purred. She nodded her head toward her neighbor. "Krystle."

"Evening, ma'am. We got a call about a disturbance. Just wanted to make sure everything was alright."

"A disturbance?" Ashi feigned shock.

"We heard a lot of commotion," Krystle said. "We just thought it was some kids setting off fireworks. But after we heard it again, well, we," the woman looked at the couple with an embarrassed smile. "We were just worried."

"I'm so sorry. You see, my husband has been away for business for _so long_ and I just wanted to make sure he got a... proper greeting." She looked up at Jack with a seductive grin. "Isn't that right, darling?"

Jack leaned down, a lewd grin of his own, moaning quietly as he kissed his wife's temple. "That's right, my love."

"Oh, my," Krystle said with a blush. "Well, um, if you say you're alright..."

"I assure you," Jack replied, "there is nothing to worry about here. I apologize if we have inconvenienced you in any way."

Krystle stood on her tiptoes to nosily survey the ruins of their den over the officer's shoulders. "Are you two redecorating? I can refer you to a fabulous designer, she just redid our kitchen!"

"Krystle. Officers." Ashi grinned. "Have a nice night."

"Are you sure you don't want the referral? First meeting is free!"

Ashi closed their door with a laugh. "Bye!"

She backed away from the door immediately. "Fuck, fuck, _fuck_ ," she whispered. "Jack, _please._ Please run."

"I told you," he said in a low voice. "Not without you."

"Then we need to get out of here _now."_ She looked out of the peephole again, straining her ears to hear the conversation outside.

 _"Ma'm please return to your home. We have reason to believe you may be in danger if you stay."_

 _"Danger? What kind of danger? They seemed fine to me."_

 _"Return to your home,"_ the other officer repeated. _"Let us handle this."_

"Shit. We need to leave." She watched her neighbor depart down their driveway and walk across the street to her house. She backed away from the door once more.

The rapping against their door was louder this time. Rougher.

 _"Police! Open up!"_

"What more do the police want with us?" Jack asked.

Ashi looked at him in a panic. "Jack."

 _"If you do not open the door right now, we will have no choice but to use force!"_

"Those aren't cops."

 _"Open fire."_

Ashi tackled Jack to the ground mere moments before bullets starting ripping their way through their door. The two of them went into 'fight' mode immediately, staying low the ground and scrambling to get to a safer place. Jack managed to grab the gun that killed Ikra, readying it, should the pounding at the door give in to the intruders.

Jack and Ashi rounded the corner of their living room and stood, Jack grabbing her hand to race across the house to their basement. They heard the front door crack against its hinge as it was forced open. They sped down the stairs, each immediately taking to opposite sides of the room to gather supplies.

Ashi grabbed a pair of rain boots near her gardening supplies and slipped them on. She shoved a massive bag of fertilizer from its spot on the ground and pressed into the wood firmly, revealing a hidden door. She slung a small duffle bag—packed with clothes, weapons, and ammunition—over her shoulder and stood to watch Jack.

Her mouth hung open in shock. "Are you _kidding me?"_

Jack was underneath an old pinball machine, one that Jack had famously _insisted_ on buying but used, maybe _once_ —the stupid thing had been the source of one of their _biggest_ fights—removing the bottom and fishing out his own bag of supplies. He stood and grinned, tossing her a gun, throwing a shirt on and readying his own weapon.

Ashi returned his smile with a shake of her head. "You tricky bastard."

"Always hiding in plain sight," he acknowledged, gesturing towards her gardening supplies.

Their humor was short lived as they heard voices above them. The fake officers. Ashi and Jack stood still as they strained their ears to listen.

They heard the basement door gently creak open. The two aimed their weapons at the door, ready to take action.

They were met with silence. They strained their ears, expecting the crashing sound of boots on the steps, but they could hear nothing. No voices. No footsteps.

 _Tink-Tink-Tink._

"What is that?" Jack whispered. Ashi held up a hand, recognizing the sound.

 _Tink-Tink-Tink._

A small shine of metal caught her eye. A small, robotic device shaped like a beetle was quietly skittering down their stairs. It stopped and stood on its haunches, its eyes turning from cerulean to crimson.

 _"Shit."_

Jack flung open the hatch to their basement and grabbed Ashi, climbing out to their front yard. They bolted to a safer distance. Ashi fell to the ground and covered her head. Jack fell on top of her to shield her from any debris as the basement erupted in flames. The explosion was quick; destructive. Jack hesitantly lifted his head, hoping to shake the ringing from his ears as he quickly surveyed the damage of their partially destroyed home.

He sat up quickly, spotting the two fake officers exit the front door and point their weapons. Jack took quick action, firing his own weapon before dragging himself to stand and running, Ashi in tow, to their detached garage.

The two forced open the door and ran inside. "Toss me your keys!" Ashi yelled.

"You can't drive!"

 _"Now!"_

"You told me you didn't know how to drive stick!"

Ashi looked at her husband with wide, manic eyes and screamed. _"I fucking lied!"_

"Okay." Jack tossed her the keys, in no mood to fight his wife in such a state.

They entered the car and Ashi started the engine with a roar. "Are you ready?" she asked. Jack quickly nodded, buckling his seat belt. She shifted gears, released the clutch, and slammed on the gas pedal, flinging them out of the garage, the tires squealing as if they'd been harmed.

* * *

"So," Ashi said through gritted teeth. "You fucked Ikra."

Jack rolled the window of the passenger's seat down with a groan. "Is that really something you wish to discuss _now?"_

"Sure do. What better time could there be?" Ashi had navigated them out of their neighborhood after quickly circling their block a few times, noting that three cars were after them.

They were on the highway now, the roads relatively clear given the skies were still black from the late hour of the night. Jack was preparing to open fire when her question blind-sighted him.

"I _really_ don't believe this is the appropriate time!" Jack shouted, ducking back into the car as bullets sprayed from their pursuers.

"Oh, _I'm sorry,"_ Ashi drawled, swerving the car into differing lanes to avoid the bullets. "When would be a better time for you? Perhaps we should meet in secret? _Like you did with Ikra? Before our fucking wedding?"_

"It wasn't like that!" He leaned out of the open window and fired, successfully shooting out the tires of the closest car. The two of them watched as the car lost control and crashed into the median of the highway. One car down. Two to go.

"Look," he said. "I was with Ikra long before I met you."

"So you were _with_ her. She _was_ your ex-girlfriend."

Jack winced. "Not exactly."

"Then what!" Ashi shouted. "You were just fucking? Carrying on some fucked up affair with Aku's long time squeeze?"

"No! I don't know! We were seeing each other for a short time. She _left me_ for Aku!"

"So that was it then?"

He winced. Again. "Not exactly."

"Jack, if you don't start talking right fucking now, I'm going to regret taking Ikra's life instead of yours."

"She kept coming back! She would arrive unannounced at my door whenever she claimed Aku was 'treating her badly.' I always encouraged her. To leave him for good. I thought there was good in her. I was wrong. She chose her path."

"And now she's dead."

"...Yes."

"Because of me."

"Because of the path she chose."

"Did you love her?"

Jacked looked at her in shock. "What?"

She spoke her words slowly, her jaw still clenched. "Did. You. _Love. Her?"_

"No!"

"Oh, really? You sure seemed pretty fucking upset when that bullet when through her chest."

 _"Of course_ I am upset!" he yelled. "I just found out my wife is an _assassin_ for my most hated enemy. I watched a woman _die_ in our living room! You pulled the trigger!"

One of the cars had managed to sidle itself next to theirs. Their shots were premature, busting out the window of the back seat on the driver's side of the car. Ashi looked to her left enraged.

"Do these assholes _mind?!"_

She pressed the button to automatically roll down the window before snatching the gun from Jack's hand.

 _"I'm trying to have a conversation with my husband!"_

The screech of her voice was otherworldly.

She swerved the car into the other until it scraped against the highway divider. She fired rapidly, the bullets hitting their targets. The two men were killed instantly.

She tossed the gun back to her husband with a _"god fucking damn it!"_ and shifted gears to speed along further down the road. Two cars down. Only one to go.

Jack gulped at the display. In less than six hours, he had seen her blow up a corrupt politician, shoot a woman point blank in the chest, and now shoot two men in the head while operating a speeding vehicle. She certainly was a _force._

Perhaps one that he should not argue with.

"Ashi, listen to me!" he yelled over the rushing wind.

She had managed to gain enough speed to put a sizable distance between her and the remaining car. A few more turns and she might actually lose them. She veered off the highway, taking an exit and followed the road to a mostly empty concrete parking lot. The tires squealed as she made her way up, floor by floor. She slammed on the brakes and turned, the car parked at the top of the fifth floor, headlights pointed in the direction of the exit. The direction of their attackers.

If they were going to face these assholes, she wanted to face them head-on.

"Ashi," Jack said, catching his breath as the adrenaline in his system finally began to calm.

"Do you hate me?"

"What?"

She had asked the question in such an uncharacteristically small voice that he almost missed it entirely. He looked at his wife, who breathed deeply through her mouth as if trying to catch her own breath.

"You asked me... earlier tonight if you were just a cover for me." She turned to look him straight in the eye. "You weren't. You never were."

"Ashi, I—"

"No. Shut up. I need to say this." She took a shaky breath in. "I loved you from the night we first met. There has never been anyone else. _Anyone._ But... I need to know if there was someone else for _you_. And if that someone else is now lying dead in our home."

He leaned over to brush her bangs, damp from sweat, from her brow. He cradled her head in his hands and forced her to look at him.

"Ashi. _Listen to me._ Ikra was toxic. A poison. I was young and foolish. But you... you are my light. Believe me when I say that I have never loved anyone the way I love you. Do you understand?"

Ashi sniffed, trying to avert her gaze. Jack would not let her. _"Do you understand?_ There is _no one else_. There will never _be_ anyone else. It is only you. I love only _you_."

She felt a familiar prick of tears in her eyes. Jack looked down at his wife's face lovingly admiring how her cheeks flushed. He knew that it was in part because she had exerted herself but he also knew that speaking to her in such a way, professing his love for her, never failed to make her blush.

He let out a puff of air in amusement. "I ever tell you you're cute when you're flustered?"

She grabbed the collar of his shirt, mumbling for him to shut up, and pulled him in to kiss him, drawing on his lips with her own as if he were the last source of oxygen in the world. She fisted her hands in his hair, still long and loosely hanging to his shoulders. He returned her kiss fervently, squeezing the back of her neck and drinking in everything she had to offer.

She broke apart, panting. Growling.

"You are _mine."_

"And you are mine."

They kissed each other for a few more precious seconds before they split apart at the sound of squealing tires.

Ashi looked at Jack. Her husband. Her enemy. Her partner. Her face split into a sudden grin.

"You ready to kill these motherfuckers?"

Jack sighed, dropping his shoulders. "Only if I must."

Ashi rolled her eyes. "Pacifist."

"Barbarian."

They smirked at each other for a brief second before moving into action.

* * *

The battle, if one could call it that, was one-sided at best. Short. Three men stepped out of the vehicle, spraying the car with bullets. The runaway couple had left the front doors open as if they had fled. Two of the men approached either side of the door cautiously.

Turns out, Jack and Ashi had never left the car. The man unfortunate enough to approach Ashi's side of the car was kicked forcefully in the knee, then gut, disarmed, and shot dead in mere seconds. Ashi stood out of the car, aimed her newly found weapon, and fired at another gangster, he, dead before he hit the ground.

Ashi walked around the car to the passenger's side. She wondered how the last of the three had fared against her husband. Her eyebrows lifted in surprise.

"What have we got here?"

Jack held the last remaining thug, a fist in the back of his head, pinning him chest down into the roof of the car. Ashi could tell that his other arm, though behind his back, was twisted at an unnatural angle. Jack lifted the thug's head from the hood, forcing him to look at Ashi.

"You see that?" Jack said. "If you had gone after her, she would have killed you. Aren't you glad you have me?"

"Fuck you!" the man shouted out. He looked at Ashi. "And fuck you, too, you traitorous _slut!"_

Jack's eyebrows tightened together as he wrenched the man's arm further, causing him to cry out even louder. Ashi walked up to the pair, unfazed by the man's insults and slipped her hand into his coat pocket, pulling out a phone.

She waved it in the man's face.

"What's the password to this thing?"

Ashi could hear the sickening sound of saliva coming up the man's throat. He didn't even have time to open his mouth to spit before Jack slammed his forehead down into the hood. It was not hard enough to knock him out but it was certainly enough to make him rethink his actions.

Jack yanked the man's head back up. "You will not get a second chance. Understood?"

The man blinked slowly, his curses and rage tempered by the blow.

"Password?" Ashi repeated.

The thug continued his struggle against Jack's restraint. "You must think I'm an idiot if I'll talk to the bastard-ass Samurai _or_ his cock-sucking _wife."_

Jack growled before bringing the thug up to his full height and kicking him in the back of the knees, painfully forcing him to the ground. He stepped around to face him, cocked a pistol, and pressed the gun to the man's forehead.

"Well, we can certainly agree on one thing," Ashi remarked. "I _definitely_ think you are an idiot."

Ashi knelt in front of the man. "Level with me here. Do you really want your last words to be insults? And not very good ones, at that."

The man's face was red, eyes wide and manic with fury. He did not answer.

"Jack?"

Jack drew his hand back and punched him with the butt of his gun, an awful crunching sound accompanying it as the thug's cheekbone was broken. The man grunted harshly in pain. "Fuck you," he said defiantly. He cried out once more in agony as Jack hit him again, in the mouth, the goon spitting up blood and even a few teeth.

Ashi eyed her husband warily but he did not return the contact. She had no idea that her husband was capable of such brutality.

Not that it mattered now.

"Last chance, creep."

He coughed weakly. "Zero-Five-Two-Zero."

"Thank you," Ashi said sweetly.

"You think this is over?" He said, his voice cracked with pain. "Do you have any fucking idea what you're doing? Aku's gonna have your fucking heads!"

"We're done here," Ashi said, locking the screen when she found the information she wanted. "Have a nice life, asshole."

" _Fuck you,_ you miserable _cunt!"_ he spat out, rage giving new strength to his voice. "I hope Aku ties up your fucking Samurai, _bleeding_ and _broken_ , and makes him _watch_ as he forces you over and fucks—"

Ashi jumped in pure shock as the sound, louder than a crack of thunder, ricocheted off the stone walls of the garage. Her wide eyes settled on Jack, who calmly straightened his posture above the now dead gangster, watching the blood slowly pool around the open wound in his skull.

Ashi could barely hear her own voice over the ringing in her ears and the pounding of her heart.

"Jack?"

He did not look up. She could barely see his face, covered by his bangs. He was standing up perfectly straight. Eerily still. Even his hands did not shake.

"What the _fuck,_ Jack?"

His eyes met hers and Ashi reeled back. Jack's face wore an expression she'd never seen before. Cold fury shined in his eyes, his jaw set like stone. Realization dawned on Ashi just then. She knew her husband was the Samurai. She knew the Samurai's actions had petty criminals running scared in the night. But the look that he wore _showed_ her just what he was capable of.

He was not a man to be taken lightly. He was a man to be _feared._

She watched as he wiped the barrel of the gun on his slacks, tucking it into his belt and adjusting the once pristine collared shirt, now dirtied with the dust of concrete and dark splatters of blood. His eyes met hers again.

"I thought you only killed in self defense."

"I did," he said in a low voice. "I killed him to defend you."

She nodded, not having any words to say. She grabbed their bags out of their car and ran to dump them in the much less destroyed car of the fallen gangsters. She made a point to take a picture of Jack's now battered vehicle with the dead man's phone, knowing she'd need it for later.

The two got in the car and drove away from the gruesome scene without a word.

* * *

"You are awfully quiet now."

Ashi didn't respond right away. Her head was too full of what they had just done. The people they had killed. And what would come to be.

"I'm fine," she said. "I think my adrenaline levels are finally tapering off."

He sighed deeply. "As have mine."

They drove in silence for a few more miles, Ashi having no idea where to go.

 _"Fuck!"_ she said suddenly. She hit her fists on the steering wheel. "What are we going to do, Jack? That back there? That was just kid's stuff! Small time! What are we going to do when Aku starts sending off his _real_ assassins? I don't know if I can do this!"

"There is a simple solution," he replied evenly. "We must take down Aku. Once and for all."

 _"How?"_ she said, exasperated. "We can't do this alone!"

"I think I know someone who can help." Jack pointed out of the window. "Take the left exit in about a mile."

* * *

 _Author's Note_

I talk a lot about my love/hate relationship with this story. There was no hate here. This was _all love._

This was an especially fun chapter to write because I got to explore a side of Jack I rarely write for. I'm used to writing cinnamon-roll!Jack. The kind of guy that's quiet, polite, and composed but is completely and adorably shy. That's still my favorite piece-o-canon. That's why I've got 20+ chapters of a silly college!AU. That's still my Jack. My baby.

But! I've missed seeing the badass, hardened warrior in my own work. The one I fell in love with when I started watching Samurai Jack nearly two decades ago.

The moral of this story (/chapter) is a simple one. Don't fuck with Jack. Specifically, don't fuck with Jack's wife. He will _literally_ kill you.

I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much I enjoyed writing it. This shit was _fun._

Until next time!


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